Back to Vegas

Ev & I took Ila to join family & friends in Vegas this Memorial Day weekend. We all stayed and played at the Cosmopolitan. For the most part, Ila was with my parents while we ran off and had some fun. All the "kids" went to see Kaskade Saturday night after a lovely dinner at STK. Sunday & Monday was my hangover day ;)  Since we didn't spend much time with our daughter, we rarely took photos. Here are some pictures from my parents camera.

Ila & Kyla (BFFF)

Ila has a best friend! Her name is Kyla and she is two weeks younger than Ila. Kyla is the daughter of our friends Laura & Kurt in Philadelphia. They can't really do much but coo at each other but it is absolutely adorable! 

Kyla & Ila really wanted to visit their daddies at work today, so we brought them to the school where Daddy Ev & Daddy Kurt were building a new playground along with their coworkers and EYP volunteers! For a better idea of what was going on, click here.

Breastfeeding

How do I have just enough tolerance to push my 9 pound child out naturally but not enough tolerance to breastfeed for 6 months? I quit breastfeeding and as much as I felt as if I failed as a mother, I didn't. Deciding to breastfeed my child is up to me & my partner.

I tell some people about our choice to formula feed and they understand. They say that they've been there, knew some that has or will just understand for the sake of being a good person. Then there are those that choose to speak their mind. They find it appropriate to explain all the health and emotional benefits of breastfeeding, like I don't know. Some think I wont take the look on their face as personal as if they were to explain the benefits to me but I know the look.  I tried breastfeeding and I cried over not being as successful as I hoped to be some nights. I am finally over feeling like failure. In the end it's my child and my decision on how I want to feed her.

I'm all for giving the child freedom and choice to living their life & it bothered me that I couldn't get a verbal reply from Ila on what she preferred. However, I did read her reaction to trying the sample formula her OB gave to us. She was all for it. Slept the whole night after 4oz.

Two weeks ago Ila was feeding every hour and a half.  I tried to make her wait till the 2 and a half hour mark came around but we hated hearing her cry. I fed her ever hour and a half for a week. She was not a happy baby, she wasn't crying just because she couldn't get enough milk but also because she couldn't sleep enough to have enough energy to stay awake. When I pumped I was only able to squeeze 2 ounces out & by the time it was her turn to eat I couldn't produce any more so I just gave her what I pumped.  Poor girl wanted to eat and sleep constantly but her body wasnt allowing her to.

What happened (came up with this on my own) was that I wasn't producing enough milk because I don't drink enough water.  Such a simple fix that I wasn't able to fix. I hate drinking water unless I want it & I normally don't outside of meals. It was so hard for me to drink half of my body weight in ounces, but I was able to for the 9 months I was pregnant and for the first month of Ila's life. Unfortunately, I needed to drink WAY more to be able to produce enough for my girl to stay satisfied.

Because we didn't want my breasts to get another infection (from Mastitis) we weened her from breast milk. First, we only gave her a bottle if we were out with her. Then I started feeding her during the day while Ev was at work. More & more I gave her the bottle.

Just the other day Ila had her last boob session. Now that she's only on formula, she eats  every 3-4 hours and naps for 3 hours during the day. At night she gets as much as 8 hours! We're still not sleeping through the night every night like we hoped but often enough  we get to join in on her slumber. She's a happy baby now, really though, our daughter is perfect. She's content & calm.  Like I've wrote before,  I've learned her different cries. It's so easy for Ev or I to pop out a bottle & feed her on the road. Little to none frustration in getting the job done.

How are those other benefits? The selfish ones? I'm drinking wine with my boy & going out for cocktails with friends. We went to Vegas this past weekend and had overnight help so we could experience the nightlife together.

Ev & I are still growing as a couple. We want Ila to appreciate that her parents love each other unconditionally and respect one another. By doing this she'll treat the people around her the same way we as a family talk to each other as well as help her become extremely self sufficient. By having no stress from anything feeding related we are able to work on our main goal, a happy family.

Everything's great. My baby is happy, our relationship is fantastic & we finally have Thor back! I only hope that other parents don't feel ashamed of formula feeding and that less folk have the need to express their opinions on it. 

Working on my chill

Let's see how long I'll be able to enjoy this latte and hot sandwich at Starbucks before Ila wakes up...

Baby's been amazing! What a delight to have her in my life. She smiles constantly and cries only when she needs something. I have finally understood the difference between a poopy cry and a need to burp cry.

Sometimes I get frustrated. She'll cry because she needs to burp but it takes an abnormal amount of time to get a burp out so I'll try something else. I massage her little tummy, change her, feed her and give her her "binky" (pacifier.) I'll eventually give in and pass her to Ev. It's sad to say I need a breather from my beautiful angelic baby girl, but I need it.

Let's be real, majority of my readers are or have been parents to wee little ones, they'll understand. For the soon to be parents, take note. It's not at hard as most explain it to be but it is frustrating at times. All you want to do is keep them happy.

After my break I'll take her back from her daddy, throw her over my shoulder and give her two maybe three pats on the back and BAM, her burp is out. Silence. She's satisfied once again. Getting frustrated over this cycle has happened just enough for me to realize that I should start working on my self releasing chill pill.

It's amazing what people say and do to their children out of frustration. Maybe their self release function is broken. Maybe they forgot that feeling of being stress free. Maybe they aren't as fortunate as I. I am very lucky and extremely thankful to not have to work right now, but they are children and everything you say and do to them effects them in the long run. Focusing on your ability to relax will not only benefit you and your children but everyone around you too!

The parents reactions I see around town are not acts on infants. So yeah, I don't know what it's like just yet. But I will and every opportunity I have to work on a better me is an opportunity I want to take. This life is precious and she takes everything I say and do to heart, and will continue to do so no matter how old she is. Like I said, I need to start now.

Ila's up. Time to head out <3

From Arizona to California to Pennsylvania

Much has happened in the last two weeks-

Ev was extremely sick, possibly food poisoning. He was bed ridden for a good four days. This made getting the house ready for moving day pretty difficult. We're procrastinators anyway so I can't put all the blame on him. Good bye ARIZONA.

We packed our necessities (clothes, toothbrush, blowdryer etc) and shipped what we could of our larger belongings in the car to PENNSYLVANIA.

Ila, Thor and I flew to CALIFORNIA for my cousin Harrison's Bar Mitzfa. We spent one day having friends over to meet the baby and another day driving to Rancho Cucamonga to visit my Great Uncle (Ila's Great Great Uncle) and the last free day with my brother and sister in law (flew in from Missouri.) As short as it was, it was worth the trip. Unfortunately, I decided that it was in our best interest to leave Thor with my parents in California for the next two weeks. Selfishly, it would have been difficult to have flown to Philly with him & Ila alone and then leaving him alone in the subleased apartment for the few hours when we might be out somewhere where we wouldn't be able to bring Thor along. On the bright side, I believe this may be a great opportunity to further his necessary potty training. He will be a happy, he's spending time with my parents pup Monty and my brothers pup Ranger. 

(Photos from the gathering to meet Ila)

(Photos from the visit to Great Great Uncle Joe)

(Photos from the Bar Mitzfa)

My brother and his wife announced that they are going to have a baby boy in August! His name is Leo Anthony Vella. I'm not surprised ;) I was on to them, but how in the world were they able to hold in that kind of precious information for six and a half months?! Seriously!

Ev, Ila and I are finally in PHILLY. We have subleased an apartment downtown that overlooks Rittenhouse Square. It's a beautiful vacation location. We've been enjoying our time (so far) by sleeping in, taking walks through the park and exploring the downtown shopping area. Last night was Mothers Day & our one year anniversary. We celebrated by sleeping, walking around town, and eating at the fabulous Barclay Prime. If this is what it's like to live down here full time, I'd love it. But Ev and I agree that we're happy with our purchase on the outskirts of downtown in South Philly. Driving to work for him would be difficult and finding parking would be even worse. 

Looking forward to another week with my baby girl!

That's my daughter.

I'm speechless.